Carrots in war, literature, hot dog buns and Monday Munch

Yes, let April showers
Bring May flowers.
But we’d sure like to forego
April snow.

April’s Monday Munches bring us vegetables with intriguing histories. According to “The Diner’s Dictionary: Word Origins of Food & Drink,” the modern orange carrot seems to have originated in a purple-rooted variety grown first in Afghanistan and gradually conveyed westward by the Arabs.

On the opening page of “All Quiet on the Western Front,” Erich Maria Remarque wrote of “bodies full of beef … a double ration of sausage and bread. … The cook with his carroty head is begging us to eat.”

I’d just note that as a fourth grader, I was proud of my red hair, but when a kid called me ‘carrot head,” I gave him a bloody nose.

British authorities noted that pilots of night-fighter aircraft consumed vast amounts of carrots to enhance their ability to see in the dark. “Grandma’s Wartime Kitchen: World War II and the Way We Cooked” notes that because canned pumpkin was popular in wartime military commissaries, it was rationed for public consumption. So, on the homefront, carrot pie became popular.

Morkovcha, Korean carrot salad, has a dramatic history. In the 1860s, faced with drought and famine, thousands of Koreans crossed the border into Russia. In 1937, Stalin violently relocated nearly 200,000 Koryo-saram, or ethnic Koreans living in the former Soviet Union, to remote parts of Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan. When common ingredients such as napa cabbage weren’t available for kimchi, carrots were a handy substitute. “Gastro Obscura: A Food Adventurer’s Guide” notes that this “crunchy, garlicky, sweet-and-sour salad is so well loved that many Uzbek grocery stores sell packaged spice mixes for customers to use at home.”

A recipe for producing carrot hot dogs at home includes marinating the vegetables in a mixture of vegetable broth, apple cider vinegar, rice vinegar, soy sauce, liquid smoke, paprika, mustard powder, garlic powder, coriander, black pepper and olive oil.

Philadelphia Magazine offered an opinion: “A carrot hot dog is a carrot cured to taste like a hot dog, then grilled and placed in a roll. … What could possibly be good about a cooked carrot enveloped in bread and topped with mustard and ketchup? Nothing. The answer is nothing.”

Asparagus is not totally free of brouhaha. The word is from the Greek “asparagos,” perhaps linked to the Greek “spargan,” to swell. So, to say someone has an asparagus head is not complimentary. We may refer to someone who is tall and lanky as a “beanpole.” The French say, “Etre une asperge.”

The Spanish say, “¡Vete a freír espárragos!” We say,”Go fly a kite!”

With 9,500 acres devoted to the green stalk, Michigan is the number one asparagus producer in our nation. In ideal conditions a stalk can grow half an inch per hour, and about 500 million spears are hand-harvested each year.

In his “Garden Book,” Thomas Jefferson noted that asparagus appeared on his table 22 times, with the average date being April 8. Although he enjoyed it on buttered toast, according to “Dining at Monticello,” Mary Randolph’s directions for asparagus preparation were more elaborate than for any other vegetable.

As “The Great Food Almanac: A Feast of Facts from A to Z” puts it: “Anything that tastes this good, can’t possibly be bad for you.”

“Vermont Fresh: A Fruit and Vegetable Handbook” advises that besides being known for their abundant beta-carotene, carrots are full of potassium, dietary fiber and vitamin C. Asparagus is one of the best sources of folic acid, which lowers the risk of heart and liver disease.

Meanwhile, in fruit news, the Supreme Court recently declined to hear California artist Joe Morford’s appeal to give him credit for being the first person to tape a banana to a wall in the name of art. Nearly two decades ago, he duct taped a banana and orange to a wall, titling it “Banana and Orange.” When, Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan, sold his banana-on-wall artwork, “Comedian,” for $6.2 million, Morford insisted it was his idea.

In case you think this can’t get more bizarre, in November 2024, cryptocurrency entrepreneur Justin Sun bought No. 2 of Cattelan’s limited edition of three bananas on wall pieces for $6.2 million. Soon afterward, he ate the banana onstage, comparing it to a crypto asset and said, “The real value is the concept itself.”

The Latin admonition for those who come late to a meal is “sero venientibus ossa” or bones for those who come late. The Charlotte Senior Center promises: “First come, first served.” But come early or come late, although volunteer cooks don’t promise bananas, they do promise good food and good company at the senior center, 212 Ferry Road.

Monday Munch
April 21
11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.
Scalloped potatoes with ham, glazed roasted carrots, bread and gingerbread.

April 28
Asparagus quiche, green salad, bread and dessert.

Reminder: It’s never too late for children of all ages to find a great read at the Little Free Library at the Grange, 2858 Spear Street.

The 446-page “Tuberculosis: The Greatest Story Never Told” by Frank Ryan is not there, but it’s a book Robert F. Kennedy Jr. needs to read. Or we can suggest the shorter version: “Everything is Tuberculosis” by John Green (208 pages).